Because I've been spending so much time alone in my bed trying to fight this accursed infection, I decided to dig out the old PSP to keep my imperial brain from stagnating. I wasn't really looking for any game in particular, so I just played whatever was already loaded on there, which was Valkyrie Profile.
In Valkyrie Profile you play the role of Lenneth, a goddess of war recently reawakened and tasked to go to Midgard to find mortal heroes suitable of becoming Einherjar. Boring enough, actually. But what really kept me playing was the epic warcries they shout during battle scenes. They're so epic I didn't mind hearing them over and over everytime a battle starts.
My favorite lines are from Princess Jelanda (Now face a princess's true wrath! This is divine punishment! Impudent fool! Ten thousand deaths are not enough for you!). She reminds me of myself back when I was a wee little empress girl.
Anyway, like I said, I was supposed to send the mightiest mortal heroes I find to Valhalla to help out in the war. Naturally, I sent Odin my weakest warrior, Llewellyn. I mean, he's the All-Father, right? If someone can whip Llewellyn to shape, it would be him.
At the end of the first chapter, Freya sent me a report on what's been happening in Asgard. We are losing the war, of course. Then I read a report on how Llewellyn's been doing. I found out that he's been promoted, he played a major role in an important battle, and he helped a poor animal.
I was incensed! I'm down here, recruiting hapless mortals, training them to wield a sword properly, and all I get in return are some lousy artifacts! While the hapless mortals themselves get to reap glory while kicking Vanyr butt!
...I'm gonna go play some more.
KTHXBAI
Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty
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