The Empress Is Alive!!!

Greetings my loyal subjects!

I have not died. I, however, have been very very ill, and would require bed rest for the next week. What I am doing out of bed, however, is none of your commoner business.

Four days ago, I realized that my divine body has been telling me that something was terribly wrong after my usual treatment of lots of juice and sleep didn't appear to be working. I promptly marched to the Imperial Brother's room, where he and the Imperial Houseboy were engaged in a two-player Bomberman battle on their PSPs, and plopped myself on the bed so they couldn't ignore my commands.

After bidding them to serve my soup, bring my favorite blanket, turn the airconditioning up, no wait its too cold turn it back down, now its hot again turn it back up, and hand me my Ibuprofen which I have been popping like candy, I began giving them instructions, worthless louts that they are, on what to do in case I needed to be rushed to the hospital.

Empress: ...and here is my health card, and here is my money, and... you!
Houseboy: Me?
Empress: Yes, you! What's your blood type?
Houseboy: ...O?
Empress: Good. Stay in the palace tonight in case I need a blood transfusion.
Houseboy: Would you like me to call the funeral house as well, just in case?
Empress: Impudent fool! I will not die! I am divine!

I did go to the hospital that night. Not because I was in mortal danger, but because the Imperial Mother called and insisted that I go right away for fear of having caught swine flu while I was in exile. Note that I've been in exile for five months and did not feel ill at all, and have been back in the motherland for almost a month now.

So to the hospital I went, where the physicians took my blood sample. I had to remind the nurse not to spill any blood on my imperially white hoodie as she was drawing some from my arm with a needle. After the lab results came, I was informed that I didn't have swine flu. I was given some antibiotics though that I have to take.

Anyway, the Imperial Consort came over for the weekend and took over the task of caring for me. We had this conversation sometime, I can't really remember when.

Consort: Your Majesty?
Empress: *groan*
Consort: Its my birthday next week.
Empress: *groan*
Consort: What do I get?
Empress: Sex.
Consort: ...Won't you try playing a game of DnD with me?
Empress: Look, if I wanted to dungeon crawl and whack monsters and loot treasure I'd play WoW or something.
Consort: Won't you give me a chance to impress you then?
Empress: Why, are we going to play DnD while having sex?
Consort: ...

Anyway, the Imperial Consort did a good enough job of taking care of me, and now I am more or less well enough to resume my imperial reign of glory. Hopefully I will be able to write more about what's been going on in my imperial life.

...I think I need my Ibuprofen now.

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty