I realized that I cannot let Halloween officially end without posting an Imperial Blog Halloween post, so without further ado here is how I spent my Imperial Halloween.
Some members of the Imperial Court and I gathered at the Imperial Consort's palace for an evening of freaky Halloween fun. The greater part of the evening was spent playing Arkham Horror, with the Imperial Ambassador running his Zombie Apocalypse scenario.
Being Arkham veterans, we found the scenario boring at first, with everyone stifling yawns as we methodically cleared the streets of monsters and closed otherworldly gates. Finally, the Ambassador was able to roll his first random zombie, which appeared in a random location...
"Wow, a zombie appeared... at the graveyard! That is the last place I would expect a zombie to appear!" retorted the Head Imperial Chambermaid.
Slightly miffed, the Ambassador replaced his unlucky die, and began rolling up zombie after horde of zombies. His rolls were so successful that pretty soon, we found ourselves seeking medical and psychological aid, only to find both the hospital and the asylum crawling with the blasted things.
Lacking enough stamina, we succumbed to the earthquakes caused by the herds of Chthonians and Lloigors having a street party at the Independence Square.
You know that despair has set in when the Imperial Court began laughing our heads off because of the silliest of things. Failing to close all the gates in time, the Ancient One awakened, and of course what little sanity and weapons we had were not enough to stop it from devouring Arkham and ultimately, the world.
But we still couldn't stop laughing.
After the despair has waned off, we all settled down to watch a selection of scary and/or freaky and/or disturbing movies that the Head Imperial Chambermaid has
Because I am an evil Empress, I chose to watch Antichrist first. Since none of you, my loyal subjects, are likely to watch this film anyway, I will now post spoilers.
The first part of the film was about sex, passion, sex, you know, boring stuff. It was so boring that the Imperial Consort can be heard snoring over the speakers. Though it was peppered with the occasional freaky and disturbing stuff, it was still mainly sex. And esoteric symbolisms that none of our highly sophisticated intelligences could fathom. And sex.
Then came the part where the wife had turned batshit crazy and trapped the husband in the barn.
The following conversation all happened within the span of one minute:
Chambermaid: What, are they going to have sex again?
Empress: Do they look like they are about to have sex again?
*Wife pulls out husband's meat.*
Empress: My imperial intelligence has been shamed.
*Wife slams block of wood against husband's... wood.*
Empress: OMG!
Chambermaid: WTF!
Priestess: *cowers*
*Wife begins stroking husband's meat.*
*Blood squirts out of husband's meat.*
Empress: WTF!
Chambermaid: OMG!
Priestess: *cowers*
And this was just the beginning. Other freakishly disturbing scenes followed.
Thus the Imperial Court have become officially disturbed.
I swear, Catholic schools should make their abstinence-only sex education students watch this film.
Even though the second film we watched, Let The Right One In, a tale about a pre-teen vampiress experiencing puppy love, had its own share of disturbing scenes, we still have disturbing visions from the first film lodged in our heads when it was time to sleep.
The next morning, the Imperial Court woke up to a Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition Forgotten Realms scenario ran by the Imperial Consort, the details of which I don't know about because I am currently in an anti-DnD crusade. I therefore spent the morning having some hack and slash action in World of Warcraft while the Court had their own hack and slash action in the Consort's game.
And this, my loyal subjects, was my Imperial Halloween. Hope you had fun in yours!
Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty
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