An Imperial Send-off Party

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Last weekend, the Imperial Consort and I summoned the Imperial Court to the Imperial Consort's palace for a final game day before he gets exiled. The court arrived bearing offerings of food, and we feasted while amusing ourselves with board games and card games.

Half of the court played Civilization: The Board Game with the Imperial Consort. I have never actually played this game myself. I'm too in love with Civilization 5 right now that the thought of playing another Civilization game depresses me.

The other half played Bang! and Exalted: War for the Throne Pro League with me. We call it "Pro League" because every player is required to be a cut-throat, cold-hearted veteran, making the game much more fun. Newbies will be mercilessly eaten alive with no chance of survival (hence, no fun).

Because some members of the Imperial Court dared defy me by arriving late, we didn't have enough veteran players at the start. And I refused to call War for the Throne with less than the maximum number of players "Pro League". So to pass the time while waiting, the Head Imperial Hacker brought out his Bang! card game.

Bang! is a wild west themed card game where inebriated sheriffs and outlaws shoot each other while dodging Indians. The goal of the game depends on the player's role, as I found out after the Head Imperial Warlock suggested that I should be the sheriff. It turned out that the goal for almost everyone else is to shoot the sheriff dead.

We proceeded with the game, with the Head Imperial Chauffeur as the sheriff. Everybody was shooting him, except for two people: me, and the Head Imperial Engineer. See, there are two people in the game whose goal isn't the same as the outlaws'. The deputy is supposed to help the sheriff stay alive. And the renegade is supposed to kill the sheriff - after he has killed everyone else.

So the game went on with the Chauffeur holding on to dear life while me and the Engineer were engaged in a one-on-one battle. (At this point, you can hear the outlaws singing "I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy!")

Of course, amidst gunshots and the buzz of alcohol, the Engineer and I were both trying to convince the Chauffeur that the other one is the bad guy.

Engineer: I'm the deputy!
Empress: No, I'm the deputy!
Engineer: You're a Cylon!
Empress: I am not a frakking Cylon!

Finally, the Chauffeur decided that I was the renegade (why am I not surprised), and threw me in jail.

Because I am Empress, I was able to keep the Chauffeur alive anyway, and when the game was done and all was revealed, the Chauffeur said,

"You felt safe in the jail... right?"

No, Chauffeur. No.

Then it was time to play War for the Throne Pro League. It was a bloody battle as usual since everyone wanted the throne for themselves. It was also rife with politics and backstabbing, something that the Imperial Court is versed with doing to each other anyway. Like when the Engineer and I were deciding to launch an attack to either the Chauffeur or the Head Imperial Librarian, and when my troops were ready to strike the Engineer suddenly backs out to focus on building a war manse instead.

I particularly liked how the Chauffeur and the Librarian cooperated to keep me from winning.

Chauffeur: I sabotaged Her Majesty's legions near the shore so they're easy pickings for your ships.
Librarian: Why didn't you sabotage her ships instead?
Chauffeur: Because if you sink all her ships, then your ships will be able to secure you a victory via blockade.

Ah, the Imperial Court. Always scheming to overthrow me, and always scheming to overthrow each other.

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty