Summer

Greetings my loyal subjects!

I am not a camwhore, and I hate taking pictures. I also hate having to upload those pictures on the Internet. But there's something about blogging that compels you to take pictures anyway, and share them to your imperial constituents.

Every summer, the tree in front of the Imperial Palace drops these tiny yellow flower things on the pavement. It drives the obsessive compulsive old ladies crazy, having to sweep them all up all the time. But I like them because they're pretty ^_^

Anyway, I know its still March, but global warming and stuff. How was the tree supposed to know that it wasn't technically summer yet?

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Yet Another Weekend Report

Greetings my loyal subjects!

This weekend I did the following:

1) Eat.
2) Skate.
3) Eat.
4) Skate.
5) Eat.
6) Skate.
7) Raid.

Get yourselves into sports. That way, it won't be so bad if you eat more of the sweet stuff :D

Okay, back to raiding.

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Raiding with PUGs: A Survival Guide

Greetings my loyal subjects!

(The following post requires some World of Warcraft raiding experience to appreciate.)

Are you a brand new discipline priest? Is this your first 80 toon and have zero experience in any raid? Got no one to teach you fights and must rely on PUGs? Read on!

Okay, I confess, I'm writing this more for myself than for any of you, but you are all ordered by imperial decree to read this anyway ^_^

1) Download the Deadly Boss Mod add-on. I know this will hurt your pride because, what kind of a leet healer needs add-ons? But trust me, there are way too many raid instances and way too many bosses for your non-encyclopedic memory to remember all the fights. Plus, there's too many things happening during a raid and too many people to heal, and you don't have ten billion eyes to see them all. DBM will alert you if a boss is about to do a special ability, if someone's being targeted by a special attack, and to run away if you're the target of the special attack.

2) Download Ventrilo so you can hear the tanks coordinating their attacks (and you know who to heal). Its also a great way to learn quick tips from more experienced raiders. You don't have to let these lowly mortals hear your divine voice if you don't want to.

3) If you don't know the fights, tell the raid lead that you don't know the fights. You don't want to cause the entire raid to wipe because you don't know what the heck to do, and be placed in the raid lead's never-invite-this-person list as a result. Tell them that you don't know the fights, and if they don't want to have to teach you, that's fine. Imperial beggars can't be choosers, and you'll eventually find a raid kind enough to teach you anyway. Besides, you're heals. Heals are hard to find. Raids will be forced to take you in anyway when they don't have a choice.

4) If your latency is above 600ms, log off! DON'T RAID! Do something else, like blog, or practice that stupid change foot spin, or actually get some work done on that new website. Just don't raid! Or the cool kids will shun you forever!!!

5) When somebody posts a healing recount and you don't top it, don't QQ. You're a discipline priest. Anyone you out-heal should be ashamed of themselves. Now if only someone would post a damage mitigation recount...

6) When you make a mistake and cause the raid to wipe, don't make excuses for it. But don't be hard on yourself either, even if the cool kids are all yelling at you. Just learn from that mistake, and move on.

7) Not raid related, but when you queue for that daily heroic, try to take a DPS with you. It will make their waiting time so much shorter. In fact, queue with everyone you know would want to get their daily even when you're done with yours. Not only will it help your faction, but will also win you some friends ^_~ Besides, more EoTs wouldn't hurt, especially if your shoes are still blue.

8) And most of all, have fun ^_^ Remember that this is just a game. Let the nerds have their nerd rage, but don't let them stress you out. Leave the raid if you have to and never raid with that person again if you want ^_^

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Imperial Dog vs Cat

Greetings my loyal subjects!

I apologize for failing to write a blog post last night. See, I spent the night raiding 10-man Trial of the Crusader again and completely forgot that I have an Empire to serve.

Yesterday, I brought the Imperial Dog to the vet for her bi-monthly flea shots. She, of course, was no fool; she jumped right back into my arms and dug in her claws the moment I tried to set her down on the steel bed thingy.

Anyway, after the vet jabbed the shot into her when she wasn't looking, I put her on the floor so she can wander around while the vet writes the receipt for the shot. Then, the vet's cat walked into the clinic from a back room.

The Imperial Dog hates cats. I think she secretly wishes she was a cat instead. She's aloof, sleeps all day, and licks her paws just like a cat. She even stretches like a cat.

Anyway.

The vet's cat is just as big as the Imperial Dog. But that didn't stop her from challenging it to a duel. She crouched down into a battle stance, ready to pounce. The cat did a battle stance too, the hair on the back of its neck rising like spikes.

One second later, I saw chocolate-colored round things drop out of the Imperial Dog's behind.

I whisked her away while mumbling apologies to the vet.

For literally scaring the Imperial Dog shitless, Cat 1, Imperial Dog 0 ^_^

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Robot Unicorn Attack

Greetings my loyal subjects!

As you can see from my RSS feed, I have been busy raiding 10-man Trial of the Crusader.

I leave you with an addicting gay game with a simple but not so gay game play.

Robot Unicorn Attack

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Rohan vs World of Warcraft

Greetings my loyal subjects!

I was cleaning out my hard drive recently because I realized that I'm almost out of memory space due to my lappy being filled with Battlestar Galactica episodes. While looking for old files to delete, I found this.

That is a screen shot of my priest in Rohan, riding a horse. She is wearing that costume you get as a prize for winning Township Battles.

This is a screen shot of my priest in World of Warcraft, riding a horse.

See, I love World of Warcraft. I love the game design, I love the content, and the community is so much better than what I was accustomed to. But I hate, hate, hate the sprite costumes! I'm wearing a tier 9 set, and  I look like I'm wrapped in a garbage bag!

Rohan isn't a bad game either, and I continued to level my priest because the higher level sets are always prettier than the last.

But oh well, at least World of Warcraft isn't riddled with bots and hacks ^_^

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Achievements

Greetings my loyal subjects!

As you may have noticed, I have recently added an RSS feed to the Imperial Blog that indicates my latest World of Warcraft activities and achievements. I do not want to admit that I am actually proud of these achievements. Sadly, I am T_T

Anyway, I was just wondering. What if there is a shiny banner that pops up above our heads whenever we do a real life achievement, like getting promoted or losing weight?

Or finally learning a new skill in a sport?

Fine, I still can't do a change foot spin to save my life, but I was able to do four of them tonight (out of a bazillion attempts). Well, it was really just me spinning on one foot then changing feet then doing two spins before changing back, but the point is, I was still spinning.

I am SO going to skate all weekend. Geeky board games and online games be damned ^,..,^

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Latest Imperial Facebook Adventures

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Since tonight is do-stuff-other-than-play-WoW night (aka server maintenance), I once again did my favorite do-stuff-other-than-play-WoW night activity: checking my Facebook. I got a couple of friend requests, a new uploaded photo, and messed around with the games a bit.

This image was uploaded by one of my former co-workers. Yes, there is a story behind this. See, this particular group of friends I belonged to was one of the craziest group of people in the company. Heck, we were the ones who founded the Drinkers of the Coffee of the Coffee Club Club. Almost all of us have left the company since.

Anyway, one summer, the company was planning its yearly summer outing, complete with parlor games, team-building activities, and general ass-kissing to the bosses. Since we hated the summer outing the year before, my friends and I decided to escape this boredom. And because we were actually bored in the office one day, one of them actually looked for a map of the resort we were going to and drew up an "escape plan". And sent the plan out to our company emails.

Anyway.

The plan was simple. While everyone was busy participating in the ass-kissing activities, we were to sneak out of the area, follow the red lines on the map, and spend the day playing mini-golf instead. Now I don't know if this plan ever worked, because I came up with my own escape plan. I called in sick on the day of the summer outing ^,..,^

Ah, good times ^_^ The one fun thing you don't get to do when you're a freelancer is to bullshit the boss and the company policies ^_^

Before I leave you, my loyal subjects, here is something I saw in the cash shop of King of Kung Fu on Facebook.

Seriously, WTH?

(And it didn't help my WoW withdrawal pains either.)

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

The Imperial Consort Is Alive \o/

Greetings my loyal subjects!

This is just to inform the general public that the Imperial Consort is, indeed, alive and recovering.

The Imperial Court and I visited him in the hospital where he had just undergone surgery. I was happy to see him doing well and was even happier to feed him his dinner ^_^

"Now be a good boy and eat your yucky vegetables. They're so yucky, I don't even know what they are... Open wide!"

He ate them all anyway ^_^

Not to worry, the Imperial Consort is still more than capable of helping me raise the future Imperial Heir ^_^

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

Yet Another Weekend Report

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Since I have nothing else to blog about, I'm going to tell you, my loyal subjects, about my weekend.

Last Friday night, the Imperial Court gathered in the Imperial Ambassador's palace to talk and have dinner. The Ambassador's seven-year-old brother was there to entertain us as well. After some time, I asked where the trash can is because I needed to throw away a used tissue paper. The Ambassador's brother was kind enough to show me.

So the boy led me to the kitchen. Two seconds later, an imperial shriek shook the entire palace.

Yes, two seconds alone with the Imperial Ambassador's little brother produced a shriek from the Empress T_T He is a monster T_T

Anyway, the night continued with the boy still entertaining us with his disturbing stories. After the Imperial Ambassador finally ordered him to go to bed, I turned to the Imperial Consort and said,

"Let's make a baby GIRL! A BABY GIRL!!!"

The following day, the Imperial Court gathered in the Imperial Consort's palace for our weekend gaming fix. They played Dungeons and Dragons, Exalted, and the Battlestar Galactica boardgame. I spent the entire day playing Monopoly Cards because it was the first time I ever saw that game and I enjoyed ruthlessly stealing the Imperial Court's properties (that heads of states normally do, anyway).

Other than the fact that I got my ass kicked by a worm on Sunday night, it was a fun weekend anyway ^_^

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

Omen

Greetings my loyal subjects!

(The following post may need minimal World of Warcraft raid experience to appreciate. I order you all to read it anyway.)

Full moon + PMS = an emo Empress.

Real world holidays and celebrations have their counterparts in World of Warcraft. The Lunar New Year was no exception. To celebrate the Lunar Festival, as it is called in WoW, one of the quests that adventurers are asked to do is to defeat Omen, a two-headed dog beast thing.

Last Sunday, some allies decided to do just that. I tagged along because, as a priestess, it would be impossible to defeat Omen all by myself. I mean, what do I expect to do, heal him to death?

Anyway, we gathered in Moonglade and formed our raid group. I was surprised when they placed me in a group with a single hunter. I mean, shouldn't I be in the same group as the main tank? Who is the main tank, anyway?

Then the raid leader announced that his pet, a giant worm thing, will be the main tank. Despite the fact that I really should be in the same group as the main tank, or rather, the main tank's owner, I thought, "Hey, I'm epic enough to handle this. I can heal the main tank without having to group with him." So I set focus on the worm then flipped my hair.

Moments before they summoned Omen, an Imperial Ally sent me a private message. "LOL. You're going to heal all by yourself."

I panicked. I thought the Head Imperial Chambermaid would be healing as well, as raid heals while I take MT heals as per our usual set up. Which is why I didn't mind being in a group with a single hunter too much. But it turned out that the Head Imperial Chambermaid was going to do DPS as well.

A dark thought descended upon me. "These people are plotting to discredit my Imperial Epicness! They're deliberately setting me up for failure! This cannot be! Nuuuuuuuu!"

I begged the Imperial Ally to please place me in the same group as the worm's owner. Thankfully, they complied.

So they summoned Omen, the worm tanked, or at least I hoped it did. I don't recall seeing it get damaged, unless my Power Word: Shield is epic enough to prevent that, though the melee DPS were all getting heavy damage, and my Prayer of Mending wasn't bouncing... Anyway, I got hit by a terrible lag spike just as the worm's owner got disconnected. One of the Imperial Slaves died as a result, but we were able to defeat Omen anyway.

So we successfully finished the quest. And no one said anything. We just turned in the quest, people thanked the group for the raid, and that was that. I mean, I'm not a complement whore, its just that usually people would thank me for a decent job. And I just healed a 12-man raid when I'm a Discipline Priest and the main tank is a worm. But really, I didn't mind.

What I did mind was when somebody commented on how imba that worm was. My Imperial Martyrdom couldn't handle it so I ended up kicking the Imperial Dog while screaming, "WHAT THE FRAK? THAT WORM DIDN'T DO SHIT! BUT NOW THAT WORM IS BEING HAILED AS A HERO WHILE I'M BEING TREATED LIKE SOME FART THAT EVERYONE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE!!!"

Anyway ^_^

What did I expect? There are only two kinds of people who would appreciate my healing, anyway.

1) People who are also healers.
2) People who also have Discipline Priests.
3) People who I will imperially strangle if they don't (i.e, the Imperial Ambassador)

(Yes, all three of them are really just two, so wrap your mortal minds around that.)

Moral of the story: There is an unappreciated priestess behind every imba worm.

Q_Q

Grovel before me, worm!

Q_Q

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty