I just went through an action packed weekend, which included the following activities:
1) Making fun of an innocent person whose only crime was to mistake me for someone they knew from the distant past. The Head Imperial Chambermaid and I came up with loads of nasty insults aimed at said innocent person, making the Imperial Ambassador uncomfortable and wish he wasn't part of the conversation. I even laughingly told them that bad karma will hit me during skating practice, making me wipe out and painfully land on my bum when I do my toe loop attempts.
2) Skating practice. I landed my first (uncheated!) salchow jump. I also did toe loop attempts, and yes, bad karma did hit me and I did wipe out, painfully landing on my bum.
3) Serving as imperial life guard at a certain 15 pound one-year-old's birthday luau. My job was to hang out at the deep end of the pool, making sure none of the 15 pound one-year-old's little friends strayed too far from the shallow end. If they did end up straying too far from the shallow end, I was to make sure that they drown so they wouldn't have a chance to grow up and pass on their idiot genes to their would-be offspring. I also had to do all that while carrying said 15 pound one-year-old in my arms, making sure we both do not drown.
4) Getting imperially drunk at a party. See, I was trying to get myself to stop making fun of the innocent person stated in 1). Unfortunately, the alcohol only made the pranks and comments like, ten times nastier.
Needless to say, I am imperially tired. I will now hit the imperial sack and try to recover my imperial energy.
Regular imperial programming will resume tomorrow.
Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty
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