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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Figure Skating is a Sidereal Martial Art

Greetings my loyal subjects!

While devouring a huge bowl of ramen after an exhausting day at the rink, I came up with the minimum Exalted character stats needed for figure skating. See, mere mortals cannot master this sport. Fortunately, I myself am Empress and therefore divine, so I do just fine.

Figure Skater Character Stats (and explanation)

Attributes

Strength - 2. Before you even get to rotate in mid-air, you must be able to jump high enough to do so.

Dexterity - 4. According to the core book, someone with dexterity 3 is uncommonly nimble and fast, and someone with dexterity 5 is inhumanly swift and graceful. Lets place our average skater somewhere in between.

Stamina - 3. Skating is not only exhausting, you must also be able to take all the scrapes and bruises you get from those falls. And skaters always fall.

Charisma - 3. Skating is a performance sport. You have to be able to show confidence and grace that will make the judges notice you.

Appearance - 2. Let's face it, people are going to watch you when you skate. If you are not good looking enough, you have to at least be decently groomed.

Perception - 3. Practice ice is a bitch. There are other skaters who come out of nowhere and will zoom everywhere on the rink. You have to be aware of everything that goes on around you, or you will end up crashing into someone.

Wits - 3. And because practice ice is a bitch, you have to be able to think fast enough in case you find yourself about to crash into someone / someone about to crash into you.

Abilities

Integrity - 3. Because this sport is not for mere mortals, many people give up pursuing it. A high integrity is needed to keep yourself motivated to continue doing the sport.

Performance - 1. Because this is a performance sport, you have to have at least one dot of performance to execute your moves well.

Resistance - 2. Not only is skating exhausting and gets you lots of scrapes and bruises, you also have to do all this on ice. Meaning, cold.

Athletics - 2. Just being able to keep your balance isn't good enough. You have to do it while doing jumps and being graceful.

Awareness - 1. Along with enough presence and wits, this ability will allow you to spot danger a.k.a other skaters on practice ice.

Dodge - 1. And once you spot danger, you have to be able to avoid it.

Virtues

Conviction - 2. Along with integrity, conviction is needed to withstand all the hardships of the sport.

Temperance - 2. Also, one must have enough discipline to practice for long hours instead of spending the day playing World of Warcraft.

Valor - 2. Those jumps and spins are scary. You also have to do all that in breakneck speeds. A certain amount of bravery is needed for this.

Backgrounds

Resources - 3. Figure skating is expensive. Lessons, ice time, especially the skates. And the sport will just cost more as your level goes up, because then you'll need more lessons, more ice time, and better skates... and this is not counting the competition fees.

Charms

Ox-Body Technique - because you must not be easily worn down
Body-Mending Meditation - because you must heal quickly from injuries so you can go back to practice
Graceful Crane Stance - because you have to keep your balance no matter what
Monkey Leap Technique - because you need to jump high enough

Okay, I know these are Solar charms, but I've never played a Sidereal character and I'm the Empress anyway so no one questions my imperial rule.




















Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

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