Latest Imperial Facebook Adventures

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Since tonight is do-stuff-other-than-play-WoW night (aka server maintenance), I once again did my favorite do-stuff-other-than-play-WoW night activity: checking my Facebook. I got a couple of friend requests, a new uploaded photo, and messed around with the games a bit.

This image was uploaded by one of my former co-workers. Yes, there is a story behind this. See, this particular group of friends I belonged to was one of the craziest group of people in the company. Heck, we were the ones who founded the Drinkers of the Coffee of the Coffee Club Club. Almost all of us have left the company since.

Anyway, one summer, the company was planning its yearly summer outing, complete with parlor games, team-building activities, and general ass-kissing to the bosses. Since we hated the summer outing the year before, my friends and I decided to escape this boredom. And because we were actually bored in the office one day, one of them actually looked for a map of the resort we were going to and drew up an "escape plan". And sent the plan out to our company emails.

Anyway.

The plan was simple. While everyone was busy participating in the ass-kissing activities, we were to sneak out of the area, follow the red lines on the map, and spend the day playing mini-golf instead. Now I don't know if this plan ever worked, because I came up with my own escape plan. I called in sick on the day of the summer outing ^,..,^

Ah, good times ^_^ The one fun thing you don't get to do when you're a freelancer is to bullshit the boss and the company policies ^_^

Before I leave you, my loyal subjects, here is something I saw in the cash shop of King of Kung Fu on Facebook.

Seriously, WTH?

(And it didn't help my WoW withdrawal pains either.)

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

The Imperial Consort Is Alive \o/

Greetings my loyal subjects!

This is just to inform the general public that the Imperial Consort is, indeed, alive and recovering.

The Imperial Court and I visited him in the hospital where he had just undergone surgery. I was happy to see him doing well and was even happier to feed him his dinner ^_^

"Now be a good boy and eat your yucky vegetables. They're so yucky, I don't even know what they are... Open wide!"

He ate them all anyway ^_^

Not to worry, the Imperial Consort is still more than capable of helping me raise the future Imperial Heir ^_^

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

Yet Another Weekend Report

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Since I have nothing else to blog about, I'm going to tell you, my loyal subjects, about my weekend.

Last Friday night, the Imperial Court gathered in the Imperial Ambassador's palace to talk and have dinner. The Ambassador's seven-year-old brother was there to entertain us as well. After some time, I asked where the trash can is because I needed to throw away a used tissue paper. The Ambassador's brother was kind enough to show me.

So the boy led me to the kitchen. Two seconds later, an imperial shriek shook the entire palace.

Yes, two seconds alone with the Imperial Ambassador's little brother produced a shriek from the Empress T_T He is a monster T_T

Anyway, the night continued with the boy still entertaining us with his disturbing stories. After the Imperial Ambassador finally ordered him to go to bed, I turned to the Imperial Consort and said,

"Let's make a baby GIRL! A BABY GIRL!!!"

The following day, the Imperial Court gathered in the Imperial Consort's palace for our weekend gaming fix. They played Dungeons and Dragons, Exalted, and the Battlestar Galactica boardgame. I spent the entire day playing Monopoly Cards because it was the first time I ever saw that game and I enjoyed ruthlessly stealing the Imperial Court's properties (that heads of states normally do, anyway).

Other than the fact that I got my ass kicked by a worm on Sunday night, it was a fun weekend anyway ^_^

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

Omen

Greetings my loyal subjects!

(The following post may need minimal World of Warcraft raid experience to appreciate. I order you all to read it anyway.)

Full moon + PMS = an emo Empress.

Real world holidays and celebrations have their counterparts in World of Warcraft. The Lunar New Year was no exception. To celebrate the Lunar Festival, as it is called in WoW, one of the quests that adventurers are asked to do is to defeat Omen, a two-headed dog beast thing.

Last Sunday, some allies decided to do just that. I tagged along because, as a priestess, it would be impossible to defeat Omen all by myself. I mean, what do I expect to do, heal him to death?

Anyway, we gathered in Moonglade and formed our raid group. I was surprised when they placed me in a group with a single hunter. I mean, shouldn't I be in the same group as the main tank? Who is the main tank, anyway?

Then the raid leader announced that his pet, a giant worm thing, will be the main tank. Despite the fact that I really should be in the same group as the main tank, or rather, the main tank's owner, I thought, "Hey, I'm epic enough to handle this. I can heal the main tank without having to group with him." So I set focus on the worm then flipped my hair.

Moments before they summoned Omen, an Imperial Ally sent me a private message. "LOL. You're going to heal all by yourself."

I panicked. I thought the Head Imperial Chambermaid would be healing as well, as raid heals while I take MT heals as per our usual set up. Which is why I didn't mind being in a group with a single hunter too much. But it turned out that the Head Imperial Chambermaid was going to do DPS as well.

A dark thought descended upon me. "These people are plotting to discredit my Imperial Epicness! They're deliberately setting me up for failure! This cannot be! Nuuuuuuuu!"

I begged the Imperial Ally to please place me in the same group as the worm's owner. Thankfully, they complied.

So they summoned Omen, the worm tanked, or at least I hoped it did. I don't recall seeing it get damaged, unless my Power Word: Shield is epic enough to prevent that, though the melee DPS were all getting heavy damage, and my Prayer of Mending wasn't bouncing... Anyway, I got hit by a terrible lag spike just as the worm's owner got disconnected. One of the Imperial Slaves died as a result, but we were able to defeat Omen anyway.

So we successfully finished the quest. And no one said anything. We just turned in the quest, people thanked the group for the raid, and that was that. I mean, I'm not a complement whore, its just that usually people would thank me for a decent job. And I just healed a 12-man raid when I'm a Discipline Priest and the main tank is a worm. But really, I didn't mind.

What I did mind was when somebody commented on how imba that worm was. My Imperial Martyrdom couldn't handle it so I ended up kicking the Imperial Dog while screaming, "WHAT THE FRAK? THAT WORM DIDN'T DO SHIT! BUT NOW THAT WORM IS BEING HAILED AS A HERO WHILE I'M BEING TREATED LIKE SOME FART THAT EVERYONE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE!!!"

Anyway ^_^

What did I expect? There are only two kinds of people who would appreciate my healing, anyway.

1) People who are also healers.
2) People who also have Discipline Priests.
3) People who I will imperially strangle if they don't (i.e, the Imperial Ambassador)

(Yes, all three of them are really just two, so wrap your mortal minds around that.)

Moral of the story: There is an unappreciated priestess behind every imba worm.

Q_Q

Grovel before me, worm!

Q_Q

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

Level 80

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Today I have reached level 80 \o/

Heroics here I come!

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

Battlestar Galactica: Pegasus

Greetings my loyal subjects!

Last weekend, the Imperial Court gathered at the Assistant Head Imperial Tailor's palace to try out the Imperial Ambassador's brand new Pegasus expansion for his Battlestar Galactica board game. In this expansion, you actually get to play one of the Cylon leaders ^_^ Anyway, because the Imperial Court loves me, the first thing they did was tempt me to play Caprica Six's character. This is so that they can freely accuse me of being a Cylon even before the loyalty cards were passed out ~_~ (I decided to play a human character instead, because I like screwing people up from behind.)

Also, in this expansion, players can execute other players by throwing them out of the airlock ^_^ Though I would have preferred beheading, I was happy with this new rule because I can just eliminate idiot humans instead of allowing them to use up oxygen by keeping them alive in Galactica's brig ^_^

The game was fun, of course. And what is a Battlestar Galactica game without the Imperial Court accusing me of being a Cylon? When I threw an Imperial Citizen into the brig (because the airlock was damaged, wrap your head around that... and he turned out to be a Cylon anyway), the other citizens used the Cylon detector on me just to make sure I wasn't one - and they still kept accusing me of being one ~_~

Anyway, here are some amusing lines from last weekend's game.

Ambassador (who was running the game): Admiral, you must discard five skill cards or execute the president.
Citizen (who was playing the president): Don't execute me! Please don't execute me! I... I can repair the ship!!!
(He was allowed to live because Galactica was very badly damaged by then.)

Ambassador: Your Majesty, a civilian ship has been launched. Who should I place it next to?
Empress (who was piloting a Viper): Place it next to the Head Imperial Nanny.
Nanny (who was also piloting a Viper): Wow, Your Majesty, you really think I'm such a great pilot that you would trust me to protect the ship?
Empress: No you idiot, there's a raider right next to me!

I can't wait to play again ^_^

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty

The Imperial Dog

 Greetings my loyal subjects!

The Imperial Dog is getting lazy these days. I mean, she has always been lazy. This is the dog who, as a pup, would lay down on the grass and refuse to budge when she's tired of walking in the park. But now she's getting fat, old, and much more lazier.

One of the Imperial Dog's duties is pest control. She is in charge of chasing away the ugly commoner children who dare venture too close to the Imperial Palace. She is also in charge of catching things like cockroaches and mice.

One day, the Imperial Dog caught a cockroach. A huge one. She tried to grind it in her mouth, then rolled over it trying to crush it with her body. But it must be the cockroaches' hard exoskeletons that made them so much harder to kill than mice.

So anyway, after a few minutes of not being able to kill it, the Imperial Dog just laid down on the floor and watched as the cockroach limped away. I, of course, kicked her and said, "That cockroach will level up because it encountered an elite boss and survived!", but she just gave me her why-the-frak-are-you-kicking-me look. (Because I am Empress, I will not stoop down to doing a commoner activity such as grabbing my slipper and killing the cockroach myself.)

Some time ago, the Imperial Houseboy and I decided to bug the Imperial Brother by loitering in his bedchamber. The Imperial Dog followed me, of course, and settled herself comfortably on the Imperial Brother's bed. Then the Imperial Houseboy opened a bag of corn chips and we started munching on them. The Imperial Dog gave us her why-the-frak-are-you-not-feeding-me look.

So the Imperial Houseboy offered her a corn chip. She bit it, then dropped it on the floor. She stared at it, and whined because the corn chip had the gall to drop out of her mouth and unto the floor. And because she thinks she is Empress, she refused to make the two-foot jump from the bed to retrieve the corn chip.

After a few minutes of whining, she gave me her why-the-frak-are-you-not-picking-my-corn-chip-off-the-floor look. And because she (thinks she) is Empress, I had no choice but to sigh, pick up her corn chip, feed it to her, and make sure she doesn't drop it on the floor this time.

See, the Imperial Dog has a mind of her own. She wasn't trained to obey me. She obeys me because she wants to. ...When she feels like it.

May old dogs live forever ^_^

 

Signed,

Her Imperial Majesty