Dinner With the Holy Orifice

Greetings, my loyal subjects!

Today I had dinner with the Head Minister of the Order of Rituals, Faith, Integrity, and Ceremonies (ORiFICe), formerly known as the Head Imperial Priestess. I like to call him the Holy Orifice. This is the conversation that took place during the meal:

Holy Orifice: I wonder if I should drop you off at your palace or not~
Empress: You can drop me off wherever you like, Orifice. I'll just walk home the rest of the way.
Holy Orifice: ...What!?
Empress: Of course, if something happens to me, you shall be held accountable.
Holy Orifice: ...Fine. I'll drop you off at your palace.
Empress: ^_^
Holy Orifice: ...Troll attempt failed >.<
Empress: Oh, THAT was a troll attempt?
Holy Orifice: I wanted to see if you'll bargain with me to bring you home safely >.<
Empress: The Empress does not bargain with mere mortals.
Holy Orifice: >.<
Empress: I am so going to blog this ^_^
Holy Orifice: When?
Empress: Tonight, while the memory is still fresh.
Holy Orifice: You won't remember the details~
Empress: That's fine. If I don't, I'll just make them up.
Holy Orifice: ARGH!
Empress: Oh, was THAT another troll attempt?
Holy Orifice: The Empress is too witty >.<
Empress: I wasn't even trying ^_^
Holy Orifice: Finish your stupid waffles >.>

The Empress eats waffles for dinner ^_^

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Imperial Court Role Play Update

Greetings, my loyal subjects!

Today, the Head Imperial Chambermaid informed me that the Imperial Adviser for Public Relations did indeed find the artifacts he had claimed he did not. And, he tried to sell these to her!

Needless to say, the Head Imperial Warlock will have a new patient soon.

For the meantime,

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

Imperial Court Reorganization and Role Play

Greetings, my loyal subjects!

You will be pleased to know that the Imperial Court have rejoiced upon my return, and are rallying under my glorious Imperial Banner once more \o/ Many have forgotten their old titles, and have come forward to be enlisted anew. That is, I am keeping an actual list this time around, and hopefully I don't lose it despite my busy and demanding schedule ^_^

Needless to say, my return had reignited the Imperial Court's passion for role play, and the Imperial Adviser for Public Relations in particular engaged me with a few lines. It was a welcome diversion and kept my spirits up as I go through yet another stressful day \o/

Here are some snippets of our conversation for your entertainment pleasure:

PR Adviser: O benevolent one, I wish to embark upon a quest to obtain a rare and magical item.
PR Adviser: It is rumored that deep within the Mountains of Tralala lives a troll who wears the Serpent Belt of Plentiful Wifi.

Empress: Am I associated with this troll?

PR Adviser: No, for it is ugly and smells bad.

Empress: I see.

PR Adviser: Apparently the troll had also stolen the Obsidian Necklace of Silent Neighbors.

Empress: How may I offer you assistance?

PR Adviser: Thy blessing is all I need, o benevolent one.

Empress: Then go! Smite this ugly and smelly troll, and obtain the Serpent Belt of Plentiful Wifi and Obsidian Necklace of Silent Neighbors for my honor and glory!

PR Adviser: It shall be done gracefully in your name!

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PR Adviser: Alas, my lady.
PR Adviser: I have failed!
PR Adviser: The Serpent Belt of Infinite Wifi was not in the mountains as rumored.
PR Adviser: All I got was the Lion's Girdle of Silent Farting.

Empress: You are a disgrace to the Empire!

PR Adviser: T_T

Empress: As a member of the Imperial Court, I expect you to perform self-imposed penance, lest I throw you to the Head Imperial Warlock's laboratories!

PR Adviser: I shall wear the Shackles of Slow Elevators for a week as penance!

Empress: Excellent. Your suffering pleases me.

PR Adviser: In your naaaaaaame!

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I hope this exchange amused you as much as it amused me ^_^

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty

The Ever Expanding Imperial Court

Greetings, my loyal subjects!

A couple of weeks ago, the Head Imperial Warlock held a feast in my honor, as well as to celebrate the day of his birth. During the banquet, he informed me that he had been re-reading some of the entries of my Imperial Blog, and that he still found them "amusing". I entertained the thought of once again granting my loyal subjects the privilege of having glimpses of my Imperial Life, however I could not find the motivation to take up the Imperial Pen once more.

About a week later, the Head Imperial Chambermaid and I were looking down from the highest tower of the Imperial Palace. We were discussing my duties as a video game designer, which I graciously took on some year and a half ago despite my already demanding responsibilities as your benevolent Empress. I was concerned that my performance as a video game designer falls short of what is deemed worthy of my noble station.

The Head Imperial Chambermaid suggested that maybe I just need a different creative outlet, as focusing on the video game I am working on may be causing me to stagnate. I have been working on a few other creative projects, none of them having much progress, so I thought maybe doing something fun and light-hearted might inspire me.

And so, here I am \o/

But undertaking this endeavor is not without problems. As my loyal subjects know, every member of the Imperial Court has been assigned a title to designate their role in my ever glorious Empire. However, I have been remiss in involving myself in the affairs of the Imperial Court for so long, I forgot which Courtier has been assigned which title! What's more, the Imperial Court had expanded to accommodate even more of my adoring loyal subjects, whose titles I have yet to assign.

I will also be re-assigning some of the titles to certain Courtiers to fit their current circumstances.

So I have now officially shared yet another page of My Imperial Life to my loyal subjects. Will this open up another chapter of My Imperial Life for public view? I am not omniscient, so I do not know.

But we shall see ^_^

For now,

Signed,
Her Imperial Majesty